Stanley - My Forever Home Diary

Hi there, my name is Stanley.

You might have seen me recently when a nice group of people took me on a long drive to a place called Barkshire…. I did think it was some kind of joke. But it really does exist!

Before this I’d not known many humans. The ones I had known weren’t very nice to me. I
was a little worried that I’d done something wrong. But then I made it to a place down south and was welcomed in by a lady called foster mum. And I must say, she’s the best human I’ve ever met.

She introduced me to nice things. Like a bed, as I’ve not had one before. And these are
really nice, because you can sleep on them any time of the day. You don’t even have to wait
until bedtime. I was given food that didn’t make me upset. And I got a thing called a butt
scratch. This is amazing. I don’t understand why more humans aren’t doing it.

 

I was taken to see Darth Vader who seems to have lost his home too because whilst he
should be in the Death Star, which I believe was exploded… I found him in a place called
‘the vets’. This came as quite a shock. Also, waking up without what had been my stress
balls, came as quite a shock too. The plus side to all this is now I have a nose… and another
place to breathe from. I have to say, trying to eat at lightning pace and breathe at the same
time was getting quite difficult. Although I was blooming brilliant at it, it’s much easier with a nose.

A few weeks later, I learnt to do these things called ‘walks’, which for me consisted of mainly sniffing, I think it’s something we had to do to tire foster mum out.
I was then introduced to a man that seems to really like animals. I know this because he
keeps a squirrel on his face. He knows quite a lot, and he greeted me with a butt scratch.

I’m not sure if this is a secret greeting and I shouldn’t share it, but I’m glad we both know.
We went for a little walk and then after some playtime in the garden, we went for a drive. I
waved goodbye to foster mum, and the hairy man told me I’ll see her again and I can call
and send updates any time.

After what felt like a lifetime of driving, we arrived in Middle Earth…. I’ve seen such places
on the TV, although I must say, I thought it would smell much better.
There are some massive dogs here called cows. And it seems the humans collect their poo
too. But they don’t put it in bags and then into a bin. They shovel it, make it into a milkshake and then feed the field. Sounds like madness to me.

We went for a brief walk round the block. I checked my new peemails, of which there are
many, and we went into the hairy man’s hobbit house. I like this one. No stairs. Result.
The hairy man let me sleep on his bed. I quite like this, although I was a bit confused
because he seems to have got three other beds for me. I have one in the conservatory
where I snooze and watch the birds. I have one that gets taken between the living room and the office (where I like to nap in between snoozes) and he’s taken one to a place called ‘Jim’.

 

I’ve not met Jim yet, but I like his house. It’s full of weights, metals I can’t chew (although I’ve tried) and lots of people coming in and out. I’m not entirely sure the man with the squirrel knows how to make proper introductions, as it’s been left for me to introduce myself to everyone as he keeps telling them to ignore me for the time being. Not one person shook my hand or even sniffed my bum. But once I’ve sniffed them and introduced myself, they all seem to say, “Hey Stanley, we’ve been waiting for you.”

 

 

Since then, I’ve been on little walks, started to go to work, which for me includes doing
admin ‘peemails’ in the courtyard, checking on everyone’s form (as I’m told this is important) and having a siesta in my bed. I’ve had my first taste of steak. I would like more of this now.

My favourite is fillet. This was given to me by Big Dave, who was told not to fuss me. But it
seems he’s not very good at instructions, so he didn’t get a treat. I did.
We are getting up early, so I need to prepare myself ready for my nap, before I take a
snooze, in preparation for sleep. I’m amazed we get anything done as this all seems like
really hard work. I’m not sure I’ll cope. But the payment of steak, butt scratches and
shnuzzles in the morning and at night are pretty decent.

I’ve learnt lots of new words. Some of which seem to make other people’s eyebrows jump
when the man with the squirrel shouts them. They are also told to do things they don’t
necessarily want to do. But he seems to have his ways. And they pay him for it too.
Madness.

We now often walk to work and walk home. But this week the man with the squirrel shouted at two people for over an hour, then they took him for a pint of black water. I wasn’t sure if this was a punishment. If it was, he took it well, and led by example, so much so that he had another.

Then we walked back home to have a quick nap, a little steak, and a snooze on the sofa to get ready for sleep.

 

It’s now Saturday morning. I’ve been outside for a wee. I have my favourite spot. It’s a nice
garden where we play and I’m training the hairy man. I walk to the end of the garden, sit
down, and this tells him when I trot over to him to give me a treat. All he has to do is walk
away and then call my name. He’s learning fast.

I think today we’ll have an extra-long cuddle this morning and I’ll watch him drink another
coffee. I think coffee for him is social juice, as he seems to get happier and more talkative
after two. I’m going to go for a nap now as he’s put YouTube on with some engineering
again. Don’t tell him to his face, as he’s big for a human, but I think he’s a nerd.
But he likes puppas and most other animals. And I like him though, he’s hairy, soft, warm
and likes to cuddle. I still don’t know the name of his squirrel.

Thank you for all caring about us. I’ll keep you updated on my new position here. I think I’ll
stay. You get used to the smell.

Stanley.

 

PS: For all my new fans - Follow me on Instagram. @good.boy_stanley